The Oasis

I (sadly) spend an inordinate amount of time reading about bigotry and hatred, narrow-mindedness and exclusionary rants... all too often in the name of a "loving religion" that bears little resemblance to the religion of my youth and the religion that still speaks to me today through the same scriptures that get the bigots and haters all fired up.

And then there's this ... a small refreshing spring set in the scorched, barren desert of the blogosphere. It's the intertubes done right, and certainly provides enough restorative sustenance to allow you to spill a tear or two.

Ed got hungry

My boss, Jeff, had an oft-neglected beta fish on his desk at the office. One afternoon when I was at a meeting and Jeff was out of town, Ed the Fish decided to take desperate measures to contact our animal-loving friend, Andrea, for a little help.

Remember - Threads read bottom to top (when I'm too lazy to re-order them)

******* Ed the Fish is Hungry *******

From: Chayste

To: Andrea the Kind

Date: Thu, 16 Nov 2000 09:49:54 -0800

Subject: RE: feed me pleez

flagged down klening peepul and communikatud my dire need for fewd

thay tuke pittie on me and give me fewd but that wuz laas nite

am feeling pekish yet ugain and thu faat lode hoo sitz here wont luk my way

gosh chaast iz u faat lode

 -----Original Message-----

From:   Andrea the Kind

Sent:   Thursday, November 16, 2000 9:41 AM

To:     Chayste

Subject:        RE: feed me pleez

Oh no!!!  Sorry Ed.  I was out yesterday.  I hope you haven’t starved.  Do you still need to be fed?

-----Original Message-----

From:   Chayste

Sent:   Wednesday, November 15, 2000 9:22 AM

To:     Andrea the Kind

Subject:        feed me pleez

deer andrea pleez helllp me eet

jeef is out uf the offiz tuday and chaast is at u meating

cant get to fewd myself i hoppd owt uf my bole but cant lift thu fewd pak

i am flopping rownd on chaastz keebored tipeing uyu thiz letture

can uyu pleez feed me? im hungrie!

luv,

ed thufish

3-headed governor spews english-like substance

California's 3-Headed Governor Speaks
to Rescue Workers, Californians


(UPN Wire) Staff Writer
LOS ANGELES, CA


California's tripple-headed Governor Arnold
Schwarzenegger addressed the residents, emergency
response workers, and the media today from the small
California coastal town of La Conchita today.




The movie-star-turned-actor-turned-governor's
middle head praised the efforts of rescue workers and
citizens in their quick response to a landslide which
buried half of the town killing at least 10 and leaving
dozens of others missing or homeless.
The middle head of the english-challenged governor
went on to pledge the support of the California
state government as well as its citizens while the left
and right heads looked on solemnly, occasionally
nodding their agreement to points the middle head
was making.


La Conchita (which is Spanish for "small feminine man") has
300 residents and is located on the California coast 2 hours
west of Los Angeles. The town is nestled at the foot of
towering bluffs which look out over the Pacific Ocean. Weeks
of above-average rainfall and high winds have swamped
the area and much of Los Angeles and Southern California
causing mudslides, traffic accidents and power outages
which have so far claimed over 23 lives.


On Monday afternoon the saturated hillside above La
Conchita (which is Spanish for "the conch shell") gave
way sending thousands of tons of mud and debris racing
down the hillside and into the quiet town.


The Governor flew from Sacramento or Hollywood to
personally assess the devastation. "This is a tremendous
tragedy," said the Governor's middle head. "I have never
before in all of my year as the Governor of the State of
California seen this town buried in so much mud. It is a
tremendous tragedy." This statement elicited another nod
from the right head while the left head merely looked down at
the Governor's shoes. That's left and right as you look at the
Governor, not the Governor's left and right.


La Conchita (located just south of Santa Barbara and which
means "roadside comfort station" in Spanish) will spend the
next several weeks and months digging out from beneath the
mud and rubble. But in the mean time the struggle to find the
dead and missing pushes on.


Milt Stimley is a Staff Writer for the UPN News Wire

Go Jesse Go!

Dropped my taco

They done this right...

Humans: Undeniable love of Hostess cupcakes

Forever's Not So Long from garrettmurray on Vimeo.

The geologist geek in me

It's just amazing to see such clear and explicit examples of some fairly abstract geologic concepts as those that were displayed during the earthquake in Japan yesterday. Here, in all its glory, is one of the most incredible examples (amusingly narrated) of liquefaction and sandblows on reclaimed and developed harbor land.