Word Googsociation

Google's no dummy. When you search for X, you get ads for Y where Y is the most-likely associated products to appeal to the presumed demographic of the X-searcher as determined by Google's trillion-dollar who-consumes-what marketing algorithm.

It can be a telling "sign of the times" from a blind algorithmic arbiter that just calls it like it sees it... uh, even though it's blind? Try it. Search Google for "puppies" and you get ads for puppy chow and veterinarians. Search for Sarah Palin and wade through volumes of ads for Biggelow and AK-47s. But search for "Screenwriting" and you get this...

Now go search "Lindsay Lohan".

My Little Phony

Now where did I put my Diane Weist/Alan Arkin Action Kit?

Ferris needs a day off

In my dream, I was in my home, upstairs. As I unplugged some unidentified dream appliance from a wall socket, there was a distinct short within the wall -- I could hear (in my dream) the snapping sparks, I could feel the vibrating energy of the arcing, smell the ozone, and the the distinct wood-smouldering aroma as the fire kindled within the wall. In my dream I flew into a panic to gather up what little provisions and important items I could in the little time that I knew I had. In my dream I dashed down the hall to gather some unidentified dreamstuffs from (perhaps) the dream bathroom, and then back to the area where the fire had sparked -- there was now water gushing in torrents from OTHER walls -- walls with no plumbing in them -- and the hallways and upstairs bedrooms were now awash in water. In my dream, I could feel the soggy carpet and padding as I slogged back to the now-innundated bedroom where the fire had started. In my dream, in spite of the water gushing from some walls, the fire continued within its own walls -- a spreading charred blackness slowly consumed the wall spreading outward from the originating electrical socket. This was the only visual indication of the fire within. This and the acrid smell of burning wood. No flames. No smoke.

In my dream my house was burning... AND flooding. I spent the remainder of this dream in an absolute panic not for the safety of family and loved ones, and not in an effort to gather photos and treasured belonging. I was in a panic to contact someone -- brothers, sisters, some other family member or friend -- to come and dial 911 and coordinate with the responding firemen and whomever... because I WAS LATE FOR WORK! In my dream, my house was burning down (and flooding!!) and my concern was simply that I HAD TO GET TO WORK and this fire (and flood dammit -- don't forget the flood!) was making me late!!

Geeze I need a vacation.

McWhatever

The McDonald's Snack Wrap is, on a mass scale, the exact food I would eat if I had reached the absolute end of my rope, and simply no longer cared whether I lived or died. The mere act of placing it in your mouth in and of itself is a resolute proclamation that "I clearly do not give a shit anymore!"

Random Notes: How to Wave a Flag

[AUTO-RESPONSE]

From: Chayste [AUTO-RESPONSE]

Sent: Friday, September 03, 2010 12:37 PM

Subject: What're you all still doing at work / working?

We’re sorry that your transmittal did not reach the intended recipient(s). The training department is now closed, and has been for quite some time by now. If you have a question or training concern, one or more of the staff may be in a suitable enough condition to respond to your needs on or about Tuesday of next week. On second thought, make that Wednesday… or so.

We thank you for your interest or whatever.

The Training Team

-------------- YOU WROTE --------------

From: Boss [From my remote office]

Sent: Friday, September 03, 2010 12:37 PM

To: Training Team

Subject: What're you all still doing at work / working?

Feel free to sky out around 1:30 and take care.

Boss

FODRAWAS

I am fascinated by the "Double Rainbow" meme. But kudos to Microsoft - and to the double-rainbow guy - for capitalizing on it in such a delightful way. I can't wait for the "full-on double fortune all the way to the bank!" video to come out!

Shit I say in chat...