The Oasis

I (sadly) spend an inordinate amount of time reading about bigotry and hatred, narrow-mindedness and exclusionary rants... all too often in the name of a "loving religion" that bears little resemblance to the religion of my youth and the religion that still speaks to me today through the same scriptures that get the bigots and haters all fired up.

And then there's this ... a small refreshing spring set in the scorched, barren desert of the blogosphere. It's the intertubes done right, and certainly provides enough restorative sustenance to allow you to spill a tear or two.

Ed got hungry

My boss, Jeff, had an oft-neglected beta fish on his desk at the office. One afternoon when I was at a meeting and Jeff was out of town, Ed the Fish decided to take desperate measures to contact our animal-loving friend, Andrea, for a little help.

Remember - Threads read bottom to top (when I'm too lazy to re-order them)

******* Ed the Fish is Hungry *******

From: Chayste

To: Andrea the Kind

Date: Thu, 16 Nov 2000 09:49:54 -0800

Subject: RE: feed me pleez

flagged down klening peepul and communikatud my dire need for fewd

thay tuke pittie on me and give me fewd but that wuz laas nite

am feeling pekish yet ugain and thu faat lode hoo sitz here wont luk my way

gosh chaast iz u faat lode

 -----Original Message-----

From:   Andrea the Kind

Sent:   Thursday, November 16, 2000 9:41 AM

To:     Chayste

Subject:        RE: feed me pleez

Oh no!!!  Sorry Ed.  I was out yesterday.  I hope you haven’t starved.  Do you still need to be fed?

-----Original Message-----

From:   Chayste

Sent:   Wednesday, November 15, 2000 9:22 AM

To:     Andrea the Kind

Subject:        feed me pleez

deer andrea pleez helllp me eet

jeef is out uf the offiz tuday and chaast is at u meating

cant get to fewd myself i hoppd owt uf my bole but cant lift thu fewd pak

i am flopping rownd on chaastz keebored tipeing uyu thiz letture

can uyu pleez feed me? im hungrie!

luv,

ed thufish

3-headed governor spews english-like substance

California's 3-Headed Governor Speaks
to Rescue Workers, Californians


(UPN Wire) Staff Writer
LOS ANGELES, CA


California's tripple-headed Governor Arnold
Schwarzenegger addressed the residents, emergency
response workers, and the media today from the small
California coastal town of La Conchita today.




The movie-star-turned-actor-turned-governor's
middle head praised the efforts of rescue workers and
citizens in their quick response to a landslide which
buried half of the town killing at least 10 and leaving
dozens of others missing or homeless.
The middle head of the english-challenged governor
went on to pledge the support of the California
state government as well as its citizens while the left
and right heads looked on solemnly, occasionally
nodding their agreement to points the middle head
was making.


La Conchita (which is Spanish for "small feminine man") has
300 residents and is located on the California coast 2 hours
west of Los Angeles. The town is nestled at the foot of
towering bluffs which look out over the Pacific Ocean. Weeks
of above-average rainfall and high winds have swamped
the area and much of Los Angeles and Southern California
causing mudslides, traffic accidents and power outages
which have so far claimed over 23 lives.


On Monday afternoon the saturated hillside above La
Conchita (which is Spanish for "the conch shell") gave
way sending thousands of tons of mud and debris racing
down the hillside and into the quiet town.


The Governor flew from Sacramento or Hollywood to
personally assess the devastation. "This is a tremendous
tragedy," said the Governor's middle head. "I have never
before in all of my year as the Governor of the State of
California seen this town buried in so much mud. It is a
tremendous tragedy." This statement elicited another nod
from the right head while the left head merely looked down at
the Governor's shoes. That's left and right as you look at the
Governor, not the Governor's left and right.


La Conchita (located just south of Santa Barbara and which
means "roadside comfort station" in Spanish) will spend the
next several weeks and months digging out from beneath the
mud and rubble. But in the mean time the struggle to find the
dead and missing pushes on.


Milt Stimley is a Staff Writer for the UPN News Wire

Go Jesse Go!

Dropped my taco

They done this right...

Humans: Undeniable love of Hostess cupcakes

Forever's Not So Long from garrettmurray on Vimeo.

The geologist geek in me

It's just amazing to see such clear and explicit examples of some fairly abstract geologic concepts as those that were displayed during the earthquake in Japan yesterday. Here, in all its glory, is one of the most incredible examples (amusingly narrated) of liquefaction and sandblows on reclaimed and developed harbor land.

Ash Holy

Of all of the ecumenical services that are held at my workplace each year, I think I like the Ash Wednesday service the most. It seems the most  penitent and somber of the observances, and therefore it seems more focused and truly "holy" in some respects.

True to most things "Christiany" however, it seems that these observances come with a good dose of "do as I say and not as I do" built in. Today's observance did not omit the oft-quoted passages from Matthew where we are directed to not make spectacles of our worship and observance for spectacle's sake, but rather to go into our closets and pray, and to fast in secret rather than in public, and to not be boastful by drawing attention to ourselves, for rather in our private and humble observance will God grant us favor and abide with us.

And then we put a big conspicuous dot of ash in the middle of our foreheads and go back to work.

I hate Workorderbot!

From: Chayste
Sent: Thursday, January 20, 2011 8:56 AM
To: Workorder, Workorder *
Subject: Hang 2 small white boards

Good morning,

I need to see if I can arrange for someone to come to office 4-47 and hang two small white boards (approx. dimensions 36”x24” each) on our walls. Please contact me for further details, etc.

Thanks,

Chayste

 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

From: Workorderbot
Sent: Friday, January 21, 2011 8:55 AM
To: Chayste

Subject: RE: Hang 2 small white boards

Good Morning,

Thank you for contacting Workorderbot!

Work order number THX1138 has been assigned to your request.

Should you have a question regarding your work order or need to follow up,  please E-mail workorderbot and let us assist you.

Thank you,

*******************************************
Workorderbot -

This is a PRIVATE message. If you are not the intended recipient, please delete without copying and kindly advise us by e-mail of the mistake in delivery.

 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

From: Chayste
Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2011 8:50 AM
To: Workorderbot
Subject: Work Order THX1138 -- FW: Hang 2 small white boards

Greetings,

I have received no follow-up, confirmation, or any other communications related to my submitted work order to hang two, small whiteboards on my office wall. I left a message with the facility operations office.

Please contact me with a status and an ETA of when I can have this request addressed. The equipment involved is presently in the way and cluttering our daily work area.

Kind regards,

Chayste

 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

From: Workorderbot
Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2011 9:00 AM
To: Chayste
Cc: Workordertron, Changeorder9000
Subject: RE: Work Order THX1138 -- FW: Hang 2 small white boards

Thank you for contacting Facility Operations - Engineering Dept!

We will be following up with your request shortly.

Thank you and have a great day!

******************************************* Workorderbot -

 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

From: Chayste
Sent: Friday, March 03, 2011 11:01 AM
To: Workorderbot
Subject: Work Order THX1138 -- FW: Hang 2 small white boards

Hi,

I really do not want to bring in my own tools/equipment and attempt to tackle this myself. Is there ANY way to get action on this request? Fortunately, in the intervening weeks since my request, one of the whiteboards has moved on to another, more exciting life on somebody else’s wall. I will miss it, but I still want the remaining whiteboard (presently sitting in a funk on my office floor) to have the same exciting opportunities as its now-departed cohort.

Eager to know more about if/when this work order can be filled. Thanks.

Chayste

EPILOG: My whiteboard was installed Friday, March 03, 2011 at 2:20 PM. Long live snarkiness!!